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Last night I had this dream that I had been kidnapped. I woke up in a room, tied to a chair, but was able to wiggle free without much effort. Though, once I had done so, a thin dark-haired woman came in and asked me why I had broken free. She said she would kill me if I left the room, and I was afraid that she really would kill me, even though she was very small and had no weapons. Eventually the dark-haired woman’s friend came over to watch me, the dark-haired woman then decided to take a shower. As soon as she got into the bathroom, I left without any protest from the friend. I realized that I was being held in an apartment building that was upstairs from a grocery store. Before I made it to the grocery store parking lot, I began to feel very guilty. I went back to the dark-haired woman’s apartment and found her floating in her bathtub, her friend told me that she intended to drown herself because she was so heart-broken that I had left. I took a towel and wrapped it around the dark-haired woman and asked her if she’d let me help her. I then woke up, about an hour late.

I have a lot of stress swimming around right now. I just found out that my student loan payments will equal $375 each month, starting next month. I’m also working hard to get everything in line for my MFA applications. That process is going well, considering, but the deadlines for application are getting closer, and each one costs money.

I’m also struggling to decide what to do about staying in Denver. My lease is up at the 1rst of November. I’ll have no room-mate, and  will be unable to afford rent higher than what I currently pay.

I don’t like money, I don’t like that I need it or that the cost of things dictates so much in life. I know that’s how it is for everyone. I know that, on a global scale, I’m actually pretty rich.

But I honestly don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve gotten myself into a pretty foolish situation.

 

 

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